Rating: 1.5/5
Venue: New Wimbledon Theatre
Cast: Nic Myers, Will Callan, Abbie Budden, Lucy Carter, Luke Conner Hall, Joe Simmons, Gabriella Williams, Kevin Yates, Olivia Brookes, Ben Fenwick, Sophie Hutchinson and Onuri Smith
Step siblings Sebastian Valmont and Kathryn Merteuil engage in a cruel bet: Kathryn goads Sebastian into attempting to seduce Annette Hargrove, the headmaster’s virtuous daughter.
Weaving a web of secrets and temptation, their crusade wreaks havoc on the students at their exclusive Manhattan high school. It’s not long before the duo become entangled in their own web of deception and unexpected romance, with explosive results…
Cruel were indeed the intentions behind the decisions made for this production.
No iconic film from the 90s is safe from being adapted for the stage with wildly varying degrees of success. Unfortunately, Cruel Intentions falls behind its peers in this sex-infused jukebox extravaganza.
The film, which originally starred Sarah Michelle Gellar and Ryan Phillippe, was turned into a 2h40min show that struggles to find its footing the whole way through. From shoe-horned-in songs that seem to scream "remember me?" (yes, yes we do), to cringe-worthy dialogue scenes, it's all style and no substance.
A key decision when tackling an adaptation of a popular IP is whether you'll copy it or interpret it. Cruel Intentions decided to copy the film, and so the performances followed. It wasn't just a nod to the choices made by Gellar and Phillippe in the 90s, it was a full on choreographed 1:1 replica, which was disappointing, since it's always a delight seeing how the same character can have different layers to them depending on how they are played. As it stands, all we saw was the ghost of movies past.
I do have to give props to Will Callan, who fully delivered an impeccable Sebastian, if a bit one-note. I do believe with better direction, he would have taken the character to the next level. I enjoyed Luke Conner Hall and Joe Simmons as Blaine and Greg, and appreciated how their chemistry lent the show some much needed levity.
The set design, from Polly Sullivan, had nothing of exceptional note, and although pretty, it was quite simple. This is indeed a touring production, so one can't expect massive West-End scale pieces, but after seeing what other touring shows such as Kinky Boots have achieved, I do wish we had seen more than a leather chaise lounge, a pile of beanbags and tanning beds.
My biggest issue with the show is the music. I love a 90s hit as much as the next person, but being a child of the 90s myself, I am flabbergasted by the choices made. There's 26 songs in the show, of which only four felt fitting, and the arrangements throughout were lacking.
Overall, I don't think I can recommend this show; not only because I feel theatregoers are reaching Marvel levels of burnout with 90s film-to-stage adaptations, but because this felt like a misguided and unsuccessful attempt to recreate a formula that worked for the likes of Heathers and Mean Girls. It's not amiss to remember there's no such thing as a magic formula for a hit show, but combining a lack of creativity with subpar direction is definitely the recipe for disaster.
You can book tickets to see the UK tour of Cruel Intentions: the 90's Musical, here.
Review by Luma
**photo credit: Pamela Raith**
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